Monday, September 13, 2010

Nacirema Lifestyles





The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.


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The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering
grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a
table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper
is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where
the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse
then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that
the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call
for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act
retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green
bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of
federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent
welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of
the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens
to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't
maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house,
now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the
once peaceful neighborhood.

47 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. Haha nice story, now following!
    Keep it up

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  3. nice, its like that feeling you get when you are doing your homework thinking its due tomorrow, then realize later that you have 2 more days ^^

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  4. lol never heard this version of the story before xD

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  8. Can't get enough of this story, lol.
    Showing more supp!

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  11. I'm glad to see you're beating inertia today.

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  12. I like your style man, you have my full support :P

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  13. very good read. cant wait to see your next post

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  15. Thats a really sad story...interesting though

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  16. Haha, interesting story, thanks for the read.

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  17. I am personally a grasshopper. also I am supportin. nice blog my man ;D

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  18. how do u get that paypal donate thing on my site?

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  19. interesting, feel bad for the ant...

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  20. Make more fantasies on "Jean De La Fontaine" please, that's funny thing

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  21. I had to add to the long list of commenter's. An interesting story you have there. I like the blog and will keep visiting and supporting your quest for cynicism

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  22. <------------- stoned bro on weed and freaking allergy meds bye bye summer hellowzzz wintards

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  23. You seem like you're about to start a revolution with this blog

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